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STARTING POTTY TRAINING  

Most children are able to start using the toilet between the ages of two and three years old. Young boys often will have a later start compared to girls. Parents often want to know when and how to start training their children to use the toilet. When a child is able to express that their diapers are "dirty," and most importantly when they are able to tell you that they need to "pooh or pee" is the time to start them to try using the toilet.

Before deciding on the method for potty training, we need to comprehend the issue itself. Children go through an incredible process of physical development as they grown and mature. They want to grow up and control their bodies. At the same time they watch, observe and imitate the adults around them and try to mimic the behavior they see. Children who can observe a parent of the same sex using the toilet a few times will eventually mimic and try to master the technique. There are also several excellent books written for children that explain what the potty is and how it is used successfully. (Try Priscilla Goes Potty, for example.)

Fear is an important element in the child's approach to potty training. Even when contemplating the toilet, your child might be thinking to themselves: What is that big hard cold porcelain structure doing here, and how am I supposed to be able to climb up on top of it and use it? There is also the fear of failure, of disappointing parents and making a mess and receiving a negative reaction from Mom or Dad. Therefore parents need to understand that they have to defuse the situation and recognize achievements in the bathroom good or bad until the child is successful all of the time.

if your child seems to be afraid of the toilet, introduce him or her to it in stages. Let them sit on it while fully dressed as Dad shaves or Mom puts on make-up. Show them how it is used a few times and understand the process of how it works including the use of toilet paper, wiping and flushing.

 

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Teaching children how to use the toilet regularly is a process that takes time, patience and understanding. Parents can become easily frustrated when a child who seemed to be making progress "relapses," and continues to need "pull ups" or diapers. If the child is sensitive to a parent's frustration, the child could react in several different ways: they could lose self-esteem and confidence, develop anxiety concerning their "failures" and accidents.

The important thing that parents need to remember is that for the child there are two issues the child is struggling with internally during this period. First, the child needs to learn how to use the toilet. That process includes recognizing the warning signals of the need to use the toilet (the feeling of a full bladder), using one's will power to "hold it in," getting to a toilet in time, and finally, relaxing the muscles and letting the waste matter out of the body. The second part of the process includes learning to use the toilet regularly and accepting the mechanics of the task: getting into the bathroom, lowering under garments, sitting, releasing waste, wiping, flushing, raising clothing, and most importantly washing their hands at the end of the event.

Children can be encouraged during the process even while accidents continue to happen. Watch for signals from the child, such as tugging at clothes or restless feet. Are these the warning signals that the child needs to go? Ask directly: do you need to use the toilet? When the answer is yes, help them in and get them started and direct them through the process while appearing to be disinterested. If an accident happened, place anything disposable into the toilet itself and explain to the child that "this is where poop should go" without showing any anger or frustration.

Finally, remain positive at all times. You child's body is changing and your child is dealing with those changes without understanding them.